Hey whats up everyone, Jordin here with another mushroom trip article.
I took about 3 grams of mushrooms and went for a hike in the woods. I brought my phone with me to write things down, since that’s what I always seem to want to do when the mushies start speaking to me.
And I’m glad I did write all of this down. Because holy shit. What I heard this channeled voice say to me was fucking fascinating.
Most of what I wrote down was directly channeled, as in it felt like someone else speaking to me. But occasionally I spoke back and had a conversation, especally at the beginning and the end. To make it clear, I italicized my part of the conversation and I left the channeled voice in plain text.
Occasionally I give some context from Sober Jord to deepend the content as I am putting everything together in this article. The commentary/explanation are in parenthesis. But I’ve kept this to a minimum to let the experience of my mushroom trip speak for itself.
This came over the course of four hours, so I broke it out into sections when spurts of thought would come through. The dots represent the time that I am just derping with the experience out in the forest. I did not change any of the text other than fix a few typos, so you’re getting everything as raw as it came.
The entire trip I felt like I was a child again and this channeled presence was speaking to me, teaching me obvious things about life but in a brand new way.
I have been going through a hard time lately, and started out this trip heavy with shame. So that’s where we begin. Seeing through the eyes of shame in a whole new way.
Today we are seeing through the eyes of shame.
There is a plexiglass over everything. Like I can see it is beautiful. It is a beautiful day. And I can admit it is beautiful outside. But I cannot experience the beauty. Like I can see it right there. And touch it and smell it. But I cannot experience it.
The only things in the outer world I can experience are the things that remind me of how much I am hurting inside.
It is important to know: I did not choose this. As a little girl, I did not choose to see through this lens. Nobody would choose this. Nobody. Especially not a little girl. This was placed on her.
(Hey Jordin here I just wanted to pop back in and say that I distinctly remember this heavy “lens” of plexiglass come over me when I was around 8 or 9 and has come and gone ever since. Another way to describe the “lens” is depression.)
Also I am not shame. I am seeing through the eyes of shame. But I am not shame. I am the observer. I’m not sure who I am exactly but I do know that I am not the shame. The shame is a lens. And just because I cannot control whether this lens comes and just because I do not know how to take it off, doesn’t mean that I am this lens.
Also something about how this lens is a protection. I haven’t gone that far yet but this lens is actually a grace. It is letting me get the closest I can to beauty, taste it smell it touch it see it, without experiencing it. Because if the lens is pulled off, there is hell waiting. There is no beauty if the lens is pulled off. When the lens is pulled off all I experience is pain. All there is is darkness. And I just want to die.
Obviously if it wasn’t so terrible without the lens I would have no need for the lens. The lens is the symptom. The lens is what the little girl had to choose. It was the lens or darkness and pain torment and twisting.
There is no need for exposure therapy. There is no need to rip the lens off. Just be patient. Just wait and see. Watch and listen.
No you are not your body. Just because this body was given to you and just because you cannot leave it does not mean you are your body. Your body is a companion with you. Your body is your companion. But you are not your body.
Your companion is hot your companion is cold. Your companion is hungry. You must take care of your companion. This is humanity. Your companion requires you to participate in your humanity. Your companion is the vessel for your participation. But you are not your companion.
Yes this is all an identity problem. They still think they are their companion. You still think you are your companion. This is an identity problem. It is not the only one like it.
No you are not even your face. Your face is not you. You stare into the mirror and you see your companion. But it is not you.
Yes, dear. Let that sink in. I will wait.
I don’t know how I am going to re enter society with this information.
That’s okay. It is not time for that. Let go of society. Just give yourself this time in solitude now.
The current has changed now. Let it take you.
(This was an experience of darkness that came over me at one point. I was feeling so expansive and light and then according to the voice, “the current changed” and instead of going back to that good feeling, I was being asked to just continue to flow with the current and ride out the wave of darkness.)
Some things are meant to be experienced and some things are meant to be written. Over time you will come to know which is which. Time and participation are your teachers in everything.
Your gift is that you are awake. This is not something you have to perform. It is something inherent to you. It has always been. Even as a child. It is obvious to you. You’re so close to it that you can’t see it. And it is invisible so it is even harder to put your finger on it. Like smoke trails or a faint drop of color in the water. A trailhead back to who you really are.
I’m starting to experience beauty again.
Yes yes do not look too closely at it. Look at it sideways at first. For it is very timid coming out from behind the lens.
So what is my relationship with my companion like?
Ah great question. Okay we can go there. Your companion is like your horse that you cannot leave. You cannot go anywhere without it. It literally takes you everywhere. It is the entire vessel for your participation in this life.
Sometimes souls choose their companion but most of the time souls don’t really care. They either don’t get it or it isn’t important to them. Most souls don’t care how they participate in humanity they just want to participate and bring their essence onto the planet in an attempt to both play and also bring love to pain. To both be a messenger and the receiver of this love is astounding. It is ecstatic.
Is it the reason why we came?
Um. Not exactly like yes and no but the word “reason” really falls short here. This is where more languages would really come in handy but for now that’s all I can say.
So when I learn a language, is that me or my companion or?
You can only speak the languages your companion knows. And it’s a whole process to get your companion to know more languages. It’s challenging and fun and you must participate in it for a long period of time. It is fun and we encourage it but please remember that you are not the languages you speak. That is a muscle of your companion.
The more admirable I can make my companion the better I get treated by others.
Now hold on. This is entering a BIG conversation about who you are and who you are not. When it comes to others, you start to get really confused about who you are and you start to merge with your companion. This is where shame comes in and this is a real sticking point for all of humanity so you’re not alone in this. And that is a conversation we want to have with you but not at this time. Right now it is time for you to try all this on in solitude. You must first be clear about who you are and what you are not on your own. Give yourself the gift of solitude at this time. You are a monk in the world. Let it be. Just observe. You’ll know when it is time to recenter but it won’t be for a long while now. So get comfy.
Your companion has all sorts of needs that you must participate in. You’ve come to know them well in your time here. And I guess that’s all we’ll say about that.
What we want to say to you now is that for you in particular jordin it is important that we go at the pace of your language and comprehension skills will allow. We could give it to you all at once but then you would not know how to give that gift to others. What you asked for was to give humanity the gift of waking up and to talk them through how to do it themselves. This is your purpose here it’s what’s you came to do. So with you we must go slow. We must go at the pace of your words and comprehension. It will only feel out of control for you for spurts. Just enough to stretch you to hear what we are saying. To stretch you to learn and comprehend the next layer.
I’m starting to get a feel for who I am…
YES!! Yes we must talk around it at first. It is not something we can describe to you outright it is only something you can experience for yourself on the inside.
Also we want to be clear that mushrooms are a vehicle of communication with you. You have this capacity without them and through other avenues. We are not the mushrooms and you do not need the mushrooms to communicate with us. But let the mushrooms take you as far as they can at this time. Remember you are in your solitude when the harrows of society come knocking. This is your quiet hour. This is a time of great learning for you. A mindset of solitude is a necessity. Give yourself the gift of this mindset. Guard it vigilantly. Do not forget.
Yes your relationship with others is where you start to lose yourself. So stay close in so you can remember. Only in solitude will the lens feel safe enough to soften and melt. For you at this time solitude is a mindset. It is a place you go within you. A place you can retreat to when you’ve lost yourself in the world. It is a place you can come back to, to remember who you are. This is where you are now.
You are not abandoning yourself as you separate the awareness of who you are from your companion. You are not splitting yourself or dissecting yourself. This boundary is necessary so you can actually be WITH yourself. It is an important unblending that needs to happen.
Basically mushrooms help you get out of your own way so you can hear us. So let them help you with that.
Here’s a new worst-case scenario for you — you can become a monk and live a quiet life of solitude. There are places you can set yourself up with that won’t be too hard on your companion. You can always do that. That is always available to you as a physical option in this world. But you can go there in your mindset whenever you need. Yes feel how nice this is. Feel the lens soften. You can experience more and more beauty here.
This tells me a lot of the problems I have stem from society and my relationship with others.
Yes indeed but not because there is anything wrong with participating in society or in relationships with others but because you’ve lost yourself in them. And you lose yourself in them almost immediately. So give yourself this gift of solitude to remember. Remember darling. Remember.
Yes the judgments of others. You lose yourself most quickly in the judgments of others even in the perceived judgments of others. This is why solitude has to be a mindset for you. Solitude is a quiet respite from the judgments of others.
We are asking you to keep solitude as a mindset and not as an actual physical experience because you are always longing for what you cannot have. Too long in actual solitude and you will be consumed with your yearn for connection. Because your mindset is what you experience. Not your actual physical surroundings. Well, since your companion is greatly influenced by your physical surroundings, you will always be influenced by your physical surroundings. But your mindset about your physical surroundings has the biggest impact on how you actually experience your surroundings.
We are not going to argue with you about what is true or not true. We are only going to extend you the invitation to come here and visit us whenever you’d like :)
Welcome back to your re-entry. Just notice what you notice on your way back.
Man I forgot my shame there for a second. That was nice. It sucks having to put that back on.
Yep. That’s just where you’re at right now though. Putting back on the weight of the lens. Not comfy or cute. All you can do is do your best to rock it ;)
One of my biggest takeaways is that you don’t see people you see their companions. Like fuckin a that’s crazy. Like they might have a trickin companion but they are empty as fuck in there. Like I guess with these eyes, the appearance of others matters less.
Man this shame is so fucking itchy and uncomfortable. Damn this sucks.
But now you know that it is not you. You did not know that before. We took an important step today. We must show you all the things you are not so you can discover for yourself who you are. Who you are is going to feel like the leftover space of all you are not at first.
Ugh this reentry is so painful though. Man the weight of all this. So heavy.
It’s important you feel it. This is how it feels when you don’t know who you are. You must experience the contrast. That is an important ingredient in learning how to alchemize it.
Lose yourself in the density so you can find yourself again. This is the point.
You don’t need affirmation for who you are going to become to make it okay to be who you are now. You’re enough now. This is what we’re trying to tell you.
Gratitude helps you remember.
You only want to rush to the good part when the journey isn’t fun. Think thoughts that make the journey more fun.