You were born with an essence and with a bunch of parts that help your essence participate in your humanity. Your essence is the life force inside of you. It is your soul and what makes you feel most alive. All you are ever looking for is to reconnect with your essence the way you did as a child before your parts had to twist to protect you. More on this later.
Your parts help you get your needs met. They help you get food, love, and everything else you need to survive. …
You’re ready to take your healing journey to the next level, but are unsure where to go next.
You know there is still more to heal — more happiness for you to embody — but how?
My answer: Internal Family Systems (IFS).
The IFS framework has changed my life in ways I didn’t even know it was possible to change. It has helped me heal in ways I thought were unhealable. It has helped me connect with others more intimately — including myself. …
“Narcissist” is a buzzword that’s thrown around the internet and in gossip circles a lot these days.
But when I say “narcissist” I probably don’t mean what you think I mean.
This distinction is important is because what we mean when we say the word “narcissist” changes the tone of the conversation. And the tone of the conversation must become as deep and wide and tender as our wounds are if we want to heal them.
So here’s the deepest, widest, and most tender meaning of “narcissist” and “narcissism” that has allowed me to heal my wounds from narcissistic trauma…
I woke up super bloated and ashamed.
My boyfriend was filling up our waters to go to the gym and I groaned inside. I hate going to the gym when I am this bloated.
There will be so many fit girls there and my boyfriend is a bodybuilder and they’ll all wonder why he's with me and maybe he’ll start to wonder why he is with me when he’s reminded of all the other non-bloated girls out there.
Yeah, my mental health spirals pretty quickly when I’m feeling unworthy.
I get up and look in the mirror and realize my…
I was an all-star employee at my engineering job. But after only four years, I quit my job to pursue writing and coaching. I thought I would be an all-star at running my own business, too.
Nope. (Not in the same way, at least).
I was surprised to see myself fall into an existential crisis, where I became aware of my enneagram type and the folly of the 3.
I saw how I used goals as a means to prove my worth, and how tangled up my worthiness, value, and money were.
As I began the untangling process and denouncing…
I’ve spent much of the past year vigorously studying the Internal Family Systems framework for healing — reading countless books, taking all the online courses I can get my hands on, and practicing it with myself and my clients.
Now, being a year in, I can realize the newbie mistakes I used when I was first implementing the IFS framework toward my own healing. I’m sharing these mistakes with you so you can have the opportunity to expedite your IFS learning without having to make the same mistakes I did.
Most of the polarities in my inner system have a…
I went no-contact with my narcissistic father at age 16.
At that time in my life, there was nothing healthy to turn to that could fill the space my father used to take up in my life, which caused me to feel lonely and lost. But it was clear enduring the loneliness was far better than having his influence in my life.
I struggled with my mental health through the rest of high school and college. Having unhealthy relationships with men (surprise, surprise) and trying to figure out why I still felt so lonely all of the time.
Every person’s life is a conversation between the Divine and Humanity. We participate in our unique conversation with the choices we make, what we choose to believe, how we relate to others, and the strategies we use to get our needs met.
How we hold the conversation of our life has the potential to lead us to the life of our dreams or to lead us to a life of inner torment. …
Trauma-informed coach who helps women reclaim their identity so they can embody their worth, live powerfully, and have healthy relationships. @justjordinjames