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Reader’s All-Time Faves
How to Feel Your Emotions Again When All You Feel is Numb (5-mins)
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Trauma-informed coach helping survivors of narcissistic abuse find confidence in their true self and create happy relationships. IG + Twitter: @justjordinjames
You are your own invisible ally.
During times of heartbreak, it is normal to escape up into your head and try to figure out a calculated, rational, master plan to get through it. …
Even here you are worthy. Even here you are enough. Even here you are not alone
For much of my life, I settled for the crumbs of admiration because I didn’t believe I was worthy of love.
I thought maybe if I could get people to approve of me — to admire me — then I would feel like I am enough.
I only felt safe…
Happiness can be scary to some parts of us
A part of me is committed to believing something is wrong with me.
Because as long as we believe something is wrong with us, we can spend all our time fixing that thing that is wrong instead of getting out there and living our real, vulnerable lives.
This part would…
Inner healing is important. But it is equally important your inner healing translates into the outside world.
As you heal from your narcissistic abuse, I encourage you to also take courageous steps in the outside world.
Advocate for your needs. Initiate vulnerable conversations. Change the way you move in unhealthy relationship triangles. …
How to let your heartbreak catapult you into a better version of yourself.
Be kind to yourself.
That’s the secret.
Through my divorce, it felt like literally all my trauma surfaced. We’re talking serious daddy issues, all my past relationship issues, as well as my own internalized shame complex.
My mind felt foggy, love felt far away, and I couldn’t seem to ground myself in reality no…
I know you don’t want to hear it, but a big part of healing is learning to be okay in relationships again.
A childhood of narcissistic abuse left me feeling not just lonely — but isolated from others.
While I’ve more or less had some friends on the outside, I’ve always felt so isolated on the inside. I’ve felt alone in here for a very long time.
I thought I had to…
I get why you think it is BS, but gratitude really does help
The path of healing trauma is threading the needle between being so overcome by the pain that you can’t see the light and only focusing on the light so you can’t feel the pain.
If you only focus on the pain, you abandon your truest self. You abandon your power…
This isn’t a reframe to bypass the pain, it is a reframe to channel it into greater healing.
One of my favorite questions to ask my clients is, “What is the kindest possible way you can re-frame this situation?”
The kindest way I could re-frame my own heartbreak is that it is a portal to a deeper love than I’ve experienced so far and it’s a profound opportunity…
Failure is an initiation into a truer life
I have spent most of my life fearing failure.
Like, stomach-knotting, throat-tightening, existential-crisis sort of fear.
And when I did fail, it was like my entire world went black with trauma. I dropped into a very scary, very lonely world. …
