You were born with an essence and with a bunch of parts that help your essence participate in your humanity. Your essence is the life force inside of you. It is your soul and what makes you feel most alive. All you are ever looking for is to reconnect with your essence the way you did as a child before your parts had to twist to protect you. More on this later.
Your parts help you get your needs met. They help you get food, love, and everything else you need to survive. …
I went inside of my heart in my meditation this morning and found myself under a starry sky in a vast meadow, sitting atop a blue horse.
My four-armed, blue-skinned, inner shaman guide, Vishiti, was there, looking at me with that gleam in her eyes that told me I have found myself in the right kind of peril.
Vishiti slapped the ass of my horse, sending us hurtling through the infinite meadow, the breeze whipping my hair.
“Ride!” Vishiti cackled, “Ride!”
So this is what I must do.
I must mount the horse of the lovely yet terrifying stranger inside…
When nothing calls you to the same aliveness
You have outgrown your own eyes
You’ve moored yourself too long in a harbor too small for you
The time has come to hold your conversations in a truer way
To leave behind your anchors and surrender yourself to the depths
Let the edges of the way you used to name things soften
Let the details that kept you moored in the old conversation haze away
Let it all become the deep blue of your body
Dancing shadows amidst the lighthouse calling you to your new home
Hold the hand of your…
There are many different ways to speak about shadow work and even more ways to practice it. The Internal Family Systems framework has been the absolute best framework I’ve found to do shadow work. This is because it is a relational and experiential framework (as opposed to psychoanalytical or spiritual bypassing) and it allows us to do shadow work, inner-child work, and highest-self work all at the same time.
If you’re new to Internal Family Systems, I recommend first reading the overview article I wrote about it here:
In this article we’ll go over what shadow work even is, then…
When I was five, my dad locked my brother and me in a room to “go to sleep” so he could invite girls over and try to get laid.
My five-year-old self was scared, confused, and crying. She felt abandoned not just by her father, the one human that is responsible for her, but by love itself. No little girl should ever feel so lonely.
A few months ago, I was doing Internal Family Systems work and I went back to this little girl inside of me who is still stuck in the past inside the room she was locked…
In every transition, there is a period where the ending has happened but the new beginning has not fully formed. Where you know you’re no longer the old you, but you’re not really the new you, either.
It’s this uncomfortable state of limbo, where half of us is ready to leap into the new beginning while our other half is grieving our lost identity.
A pro-tip on how to transition gracefully?
Don’t try to fill the empty in-between space.
I know, I know. Anything but letting yourself become empty.
It can feel like you’re dying without anything to hold on…
Trauma-informed coach who helps women reclaim their identity so they can embody their worth, live powerfully, and have healthy relationships. @justjordinjames